Sept
17th
My CMT Journey continues...
When
dad died I blamed my poor choices in making God angry. Mom's death
brought God's grace and love. I stood by moms side while she was dying held her hand knowing how frightened she was in dying, I talked her into taking the hands of Jesus. A super natural event occurred. I felt like I was walking mom into the gates of heaven. When we arrived the gates opened and I handed her over to Jesus. I felt so much love, peace and joy. I was so overcome with these emotions I had all I could do to contain myself from bursting with praise and song while my family wept. I was glowing throughout the funeral. Couldn't stop smiling. Than Jesus brought me back to earth. I grieved and my heart was broken. I understood that God may not answer
prayer in the way I want, but He is always there to hold me up. A few
months later my son was diagnosed in having CMT. “Some parents say
that they had a feeling, long before the diagnosis was finally made,
that something was wrong. In many cases, with a hereditary disorder,
it was almost a situation of waiting for what they most feared: the
same diagnosis that plagued their own youth. But, until the
confirmation of their fears, they denied those feelings. This type of
reaction is a very healthy emotion. It gives the person time to
accept, adjust, and make plans. It can also protect a parent from too
much pain, too soon.” (cmtausa, My Child Has CMT). I think my mom
surmised it. I respect her self control in not voicing her concerns
to me. When people say God will not give you more than you can
handle, let me tell you the truth. The verse that statement is
referring to is 1 Cor 10:13 and it is about temptation. God will not
tempt you for more than you are able to stand without providing a
way out. But yes, life is hard and some people have it more difficult
than others. If life wasn't problematic why would we need a Savior?
One night, after my son went to bed, I sat on the floor in my bedroom
and just started weeping. I grieved over the loss of my mom and the
hardships I knew my son was facing with CMT. I just felt like all my
prayers were answered as a no. I prayed for my marriage to be healed,
my dad to survive and get better, my mother to get well and my son to
be spared of CMT. While lying on the floor crying I felt a hand on my
shoulder, it startled me but when I turned around no one was there. I
then heard an inner voice, “It is I who made Joel, not you. I made
him for a very special reason and a purpose”. I knew it was my
comfort from God. Although the pain still remained, I was filled with such peace and love. I got
up off the floor and crawl into bed and slept. I knew that whatever
came our way God would carry us through. There's a Bible verse in
Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you and show you great and
mighty things you do not know”. I know God is going to work through Joel to accomplish much. I attended a beautiful church and it was my
church families prayers that were the glue that held me together. To
be continued.....If
you feel led to give any donations for researching a cure, you can
give online at
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| Me and Joel |
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| 3 generations of CMT me, my dad and son |
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| Mom who I had the privilege of walking into heaven |
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