AND HE SHALL LIFT YOU UP

My first cruise was quite an adventure. How thrilled I was to be able to be gifted with this wonderful experience. I struggled physically with the ability to enjoy my adventure, however I was blessed with God's mercy. I am so grateful for my family that pushed me at times with my walker. But the one experience that stands out is the powerful love and grace bestowed upon me during one of our excursions.
We arrived at Belize City and was told we would be taking a tender to port. Never having been on a cruise or a tender I had no idea what was in store for me. After waiting on a long line to get off the ship I rounded the corner to see a flight of stairs. "Oh boy," I thought, "How am I going to do this." With a cruise attendant on one side, the Lord on the other, I took one step at a time to get down the stairs. Another attendant carried my walker down for me. Sitting comfortably and safely on a bench I bowed my head and prayed Isaiah 41:10, "Do not be afraid for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will lift you up with My victorious right hand." I then looked up and started to fill up with tears. Everything is so difficult for me and my disability seems to be weakening my body. Just then a man in front of me turned around and on the back of his T-shirt was written in bold letters, "YOU SHALL BE VICTORIOUS." Chills ran down my spine. I was filled such joy. I wanted to share it with someone. Unfortunately the sound of the boat and sea made it impossible to speak. It would have to wait until later. Our trip to Belize was nice. Once again physically challenging trying to get in and out of the van that took us sight seeing. However, His words of victory inspired me. On the way back I started getting anxious. "OK God", I said, "I know you love challenges and weakness so Your power can work through me." We waited until everyone was off the tender before my family and I were ready to embark. There was a gap between the tender boat and the plank to step off. I was becoming anxious and worried I wasn't going to be able to step off. Just then one of the attendants asked if he could carry me off the tender. I said, "OK." With that he scoops me in his arms carries me off the boat and proceeds to carry me up the flight of stairs to the ship. My nephew trailed behind carrying my walker. There didn't seem to be a dry eye in place. Even my sister, who is not a believer, had tears in her eyes. I was reminded of my prayer, "He shall lift you up with His victorious right hand". With that I became overcome with emotions myself. God always comes through. I am not a martyr and if I had my desire it would be to be healed and to be stronger. Yet, I have submitted to the Lord with my disability. 2 Corinthians 12:10, "I will gladly boast of my weakness so Christ's power can work through me. Since I know it is for Christ's sake, I will be quite content with my weakness, about the insults and hardships, persecutions and calamities (difficulties), for when I am weak I shall be made strong." I don't know what impact this had on others. But, I would gladly go through it again if it makes believers out of others and God receives all glory, honor and power.
Since I have struggled with my weakness in the last two years, I have had a lot of free time on my hand. I started memorizing Bible verse's and each day I go over my verses. I wasn't sure how this was going to produce fruit. I thought I would have the opportunity to witness to others and so I continued my memorization. I didn't realize how the words would come back to bless me. In not having a bible handy to look up verese on the tender, I resorted to my memory verse of Isaiah 41:10 and was blessed beyond measure by the power of His word. We can rest safely in His arms as He lifts us up out of difficult circumstances. Be blessed!

THERE ARE NO FORMULAS

I wish there was a certain formula, Bible verse or method to use to receive answered prayer in my favor. However, that is not part of God's will. It is in faith, trust and love that we look to our Father in Heaven and rely on His answer and what He knows to be our need. Not easy, especially if we don't understand the answer.

I am sad to say my $4,000.00 leg braces did not work out. I thought for sure this was the answer to my prayers. Everything seemed to fall into place. The fundraiser, my niece had, raised the exact amount of the out of pocket expense. I prayed long and hard as did my fellow prayer warriors. I even picked out names for my braces. I was certain and faithful that the Lord's favor were all over these braces.

I went to a friends church and was prayed over by a man who has the gift of healing. I memorized Bible verses on healing and I prayed them over my legs. I praised God and thanked him for all I had. (Based on Philippians 4:6). I practiced long and hard walking in those braces, wore supportive shoes and put knee braces on both legs. I did everything I was told to do.

However, it seems God has a different plan. I am reminded by Paul's statement in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 to be content and boast of my weakness. “Three different times I begged God to make me well again. Each time he said, ' No. But I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people.' Now I am glad to boast about how weak I am; I am glad to be a living demonstration of Christ's power, instead of showing off my own power and abilities. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good I am quite happy about 'the thorn', and insults and hardships, persecutions and difficulties; for when I am weak, then I am strong—the less I have, the more I depend on him.” (TLB)

I had to ask myself, why do I want to walk so bad. I know it sounds like a silly question as God created us to walk, see, hear, breathe ect. Whenever our bodies are out of sync its natural to pray as Paul did for God to remove out 'thorn'. Yet, in answering the question I asked myself, the reason was so I can continue to serve God through the different ministries I was involved in. I want to see and walk in the beauty of His creation. To be able to take my grandchildren to a park or the movies. I want be a apart of life and get off my throne and out of the house. I realize God answers prayer in the way that best serves Him. He has different jobs for each of us. He heals, as there is work to do in the healing as we give Him glory in the miracle. He doesn't heal as He has something for us to do in our difficulties that we would not be able to accomplish otherwise, and we praise Him in spite of our weakness. God is God. There are no formula's, Bible verses or methods to His will. It is important to understand that and not manipulate His word, as I did, demanding His healing.

I love my Lord, and if He has a reason beyond my understanding to allow this frail body to weaken and not get stronger, I will still praise Him. In the 2 years I have struggled I have memorized numerous Bible verses, started this blog, and found a great group that restores my hope and joy. I learned that in spite of my circumstance I can have joy if I embrace the Lord. I could be healed and miserable or I could struggle and be content. In experiencing the peace that comes from the Lord I truly have to say I am content today with my weakness. I am filled with joy and peace only by the grace of God. It is not anything I have done. For that I give God the glory.

The Throne Room of Grace

For two years I have sat on my throne waiting, hoping, praying, studying and exercising. Waiting to get stronger, hoping each therapist that came, or exercise I did, or vitamin I took would be the miracle cure. I studied and memorized scriptures that I used in prayer for my recovery.  I sat on my throne researching on my tablet for different treatments and leg braces. I made numerous phone calls to different orthotists, therapists, doctors, and clinics asking numerous questions. Family and friends who came and visited me would find me sitting on my throne. I am tired of sitting here. I  come boldly, to our Lord's Throne and  ask for His Mercy and Grace in my time of need.

MY THRONE

I am going to try a new leg brace called Phat Brace.

Praying this will enable me to walk away from my 

throne. I don't know if this will work, but I am 

praying for the Lord to guide me. A 

few of my brothers and

sisters with CMT have conflicting views.

A few say it has helped them tremendously, 

others say if you are not walking well these 

won't help. Only God will know. But I am going for it! 

Here the orthodists, Jillian, is measuring and casting my legs for the right fit. It was more involved in measuring then I thought. Jillian

charted the measurement around the ankles, length of the leg and width. Then she put tape around the finished product  

These braces are quite expensive. However 

there are braces that cost $12,000 a 

piece, which insurance won't cover. Unfortunately 

I can't afford those. These guys are $1900.00 and

insurance will pay for 80%. But God is good and is our Jehovah Jireh. The Lord provides.

           

                                                           

 My niece, Christine, felt led to have a garage sale and raise  money for me and my sister's leg braces. God  bless her.

                                                     

 She worked so hard for two weeks, collecting,        organizing,  and sacrificing her  weekends and  

 her family just so we 

 can afford our new braces. 

 God's provisions came through as all money needed  was raised. Thank you God! Thank you Christine and everyone else who helped contribute!

When we come boldly to His throne room it is with a humbled heart. The word boldly can be misleading as it is not with an arrogance of demanding God what we want or think we deserve, but rather it is with a brokenness and humbled spirit that one would approach our Lord with confidence. He is Majestic and Holy. We are to respect and revere Him.No, I could not enter His throne with a spirit of  pride telling Him to make me well, but rather one of reverence, confidence and awe. He is a safe and loving Father. We can enter His throne and pour out our hearts to Him. Psalm 62:8 "Oh my people trust in the Lord with everything, pour out your heart to Him" I have spent much time sitting on my throne as I entered His throne through worship and Prayer. So when God gives us Grace it is an undeserved gift, and His Mercy is His unfailing love that continues forever. However way God answers my prayer, I have to believe it is for His best interest for me. I pray if you are struggling with an illness, or hardship, that you will humbly go before our Gracious God and He will give you His mercy and get you through your situation with His grace. "Never will He leave you, and never will He forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) I will keep you posted when the new braces arrive. In the meantime if you will join me in prayer for a cure.September is national CMT (Charcot Marie Tooth) month and scientists are working hard looking for a cure. If you feel led to donate you can got to CMTA website. See you in His throne room as we pray for each others needs. Hugs.... 

Taking Time To Serve

`Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.' Matt 25:40
During the time of my mom's illness I was a single mom raising my 10 year old son, Joel . Life was busy. There just seemed to be so much to do and not enough hours in the day to do it. Sound familiar anyone? That was a season I look back on now with a different perspective. I remember one day in particular that exemplifies this busy season of my life. I went to visit my mom, I had some time before I had to rush back and pick up my son from school. Upon arriving at moms she mentioned how she needed some bread and if I felt like going to the store to get some for her. I looked at my watch and figured I had time so I said sure. Then my mom says, “You know what, let me come with you”. Now I'm starting to panic. You see it takes mom time to walk and she has to carry her oxygen with her. But, what can I say, “No I have no time” so I said,” Lets get going then.” When we get to the store I find a motorized cart for mom and we walk down the aisles. She is pointing to items on the shelf and I put them in the cart, all along checking time on my watch. She sees me looking at my watch and says, "How much time do we have?” and I tell her, “Not much. Sorry mom, I didn't plan on this and I have to pick up Joel and take him to his church group.” So we quickly check out and I get mom settled in the house. Mom asked if I could drop something off to my sister who was on the way home. I rush to my sisters drop off her item and rush to pick up my son. At this point my son is now getting out of school and I'm at least 15 minutes away. I drive faster. The lights and siren distract my driving and I had to pull over. The officer was kind enough to not give me a speeding ticket but I got sited for not having a seat belt on. I forgot to put it back on after leaving my sisters store. Now I am really late as I pick up my son. We hurried with homework and dinner so we could get to his church group. That was one example of a day that if I had the power to do over again I would of done things so differently. I would have given my mom more time and wouldn't of rushed as much. My son was in good hands, the school wasn't going to leave him alone and it's not like I do this all the time.
Today I can relate to the loneliness my mom must have felt. The verse in Mathew states before hand in verses 35-36 “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.” What it doesn't say is “I was in the church counsel meeting and you served me, I was in in every church service and you came to visit me, I was at the weekend retreat and you honored me,I was in your schedule and you arrived on time.” Sometimes I got caught up in serving that I forgot who I was serving. God wants us to serve Him but not at the cost of turning our backs on the least of these.
Since I have been struggling in the last two years I have spent many lonely hours wishing someone would come and visit me, to pray with me and to invite me out to go shopping or someplace fun. Most times God answers my prayers and sends me a sister in Christ to serve me in this manner. For some, like myself, my prison has become my body. I have a hard time getting myself in and out of the car with my walker. I can't do simple things like reach up and get something off the top shelf of my closet. Vacuuming, weeding and other chores I used to do have become difficult and nearly impossible. But praise be to the Lord, who sends me a beautiful servant of His and helps me in areas of need. Yesterday was an example of Christian action, my home church group had a brunch at one of our members house. I wasn't going to go as thinking about the “what ifs” , in having a disability and worrying if I can manage, screamed in my ear. I learned in my support group how I have to take the risk with safe people. My brothers and sisters in Christ have proven of their safety net in loving and caring for me. I am spoiled with this family of believers. How they watch over me and look out for my best interest. I had such a lovely time and was sooooo glad I went.
When I look back on my family of faith I am in awe of those who cared for my needs. A good friend sends me little gifts, I have received financial blessings, and have had my house cleaned, another bought my walker, I have received numerous cards and prayers and so much love. I was hungry for fellowship and you came and visited me, I was thirsty for the word and you gently shared with me by being the love of Christ.
I understand the busyness of life, I wish I could of spent more time with my mom and not made her feel rushed. I understand now when I get to heaven God is not going to see all the ministries I did for my church and other Christian organizations and say “Well done good and faithful servant”, why you may ask? Because in serving in the capacity I served I already received my reward on earth. Matt 6:1-4 states, "Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give alms, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” I think God would have honored me more if I spent more time helping my sick mother then rushing my son off to his church group. It's ironic how we get lost in the serving and doing for “Jesus” that we can become blind in helping the least of these. Trying to get to church on time so we ignore someone stuck on the side of the road. Or not wanting to go out of our way to pick up someone to even bring to church. Working on a Saturday to help plan a weekend retreat is honorable but because of your publicly serving you have received your reward. But what if you took time out of your busy weekend to visit someone in your family or life who needs some love. Unfortunately serving family doesn't get us the appreciation we deserve, not here on earth anyway, but most certainly in heaven. Ephesians 6:5-7 reminds us to serve others as if we were serving the Lord. That means family too. So I encourage you to take your elderly aunt out to a movie, or pick up a single mom, friend or sister, and treat her to a gift just for her. Take your dad out to lunch and listen to his life story. Look for someone who is the least of these and find a way to serve him or her.
Be creative! Don't expect a reward of thanks, if you get one that is an extra bonus, but keep your eyes heavenward as that is where your reward comes from. Pray today and ask our Father who He would have you bless today. And to all those saints who have and continue to bless me during this season of my life...thank you, thank you, thank you. I am humbled by the out pouring of love. During the lonely days where I feel isolated and have my pity party’s I can feel safe to reach out to you as if I was reaching out to the Lord and know you will hug me and remind me of how much I am loved.

OLIVE BRANCH

I was doing my daily pool exercises when I thought it might be easier if I had a focal point. So my eyes scanned the outside of the screening and I came across a branch growing straight up to the heavens. It reminded me of an olive branch. My thoughts went to the story of Noah and he releasing the dove who eventually came back with what is described as an olive branch. I decided to do some research on olive branches and was delighted to find the meaning. Most of the research described an olive branch as a symbol of peace. Some described it as a sign of victory and hope.
When you think about the story found in Genesis 8, Noah had to release a dove a few times before he was confident that the time was coming when it would be safe to leave the ark. Genesis 8:10 states, "Seven days later Noah released the dove again, and this time, towards evening, the bird returned to him with an olive leaf in her beak."(TLB) What joy Noah must have felt. Reminds me of a Crocus plant emerging through the semi frozen ground symbolizing the end of a long winter and the beginning of spring. I was filled with hope when I saw a tiny green tree growing among the soot and ashes after the devastation of a fire. It always amazes me when a flower blooms in-between a crack in a sidewalk. All these descriptions inspire hope in me. Yet, in order for me to truly appreciate hope I first have to experience despair and suffering. Noah did. Think about the complete destruction of the human race except for Noah, his family and the animals he rescued and released. I can't even imagine the devastation of it all. Then an olive branch comes by way of a dove. A sign of life. The first sign of redemption outside the ark. No longer will God wipe out the Earth again. No longer does anyone ever have to live with despair. We are given a new life, a hope, a beginning and eternity through God's son Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:17 states "When someone becomes a Christian he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun!"(TLB) There will always be suffering and destruction as we live in a fallen world. But when we focus on the Lord we have an inner joy. We have hope and once again we can see life emerging through the ashes. We can have our very own olive branch through prayer, the Bible and in each other. The messenger (The Dove) is God the Father, Jesus Christ His son and the Holy Spirit.
This week is going to be a week of answered prayer. I will be looking for the olive branch, the symbol of hope, peace and victory through the outcome of those who I will be praying. Today and tomorrow (Tuesday), a dear friend who has been going through a time of suffering is at a clinic looking for treatment and help from her life of physical weakness. A man who I have been praying for is going in for surgery on Wednesday. A young boy who has endured extreme hardships through out his life is leaving on Thursday to a hospital out of state looking for release and healing, me and my sister are going to pick up new leg braces on Friday praying they will help alleviate pain and give me the ability to walk with out the fear of falling. I am excited to see how each of those mentioned will receive their olive branch, their own symbol of hope and new life. I will keep you posted.....

Gratitude List

I wheeled my way to my car using my walker for support, looking forward to having lunch with a friend.  My car wouldn't start. A dead battery. Oh great I thought, "Everything is always going wrong." I called my friend who came by and picked me up. On the ride to the restaurant I complained about how hard my life was. Unfortunately, my whining continued through the meal and beyond. My friend shared her tale of woes as well. Just then a thought came to me, I mentioned to her, "Don't you like it when your son thanks you for what you do for him? I know I always like it when my son appreciates what I do for him. I bet God likes it when I thank Him for all he does instead of me always whining." My friend gasped and said, "You are right. We need to start a gratitude journal and write down a list of things we are thankful for. Then every other week we will meet and share our list, this way we will keep each other accountable." "Great idea ", I responded.
That night as I was exercising both my knees gave out on me and I fell. I twisted my ankle and think I broke my big toe. I was crying out in pain and pleading with God to show favor on me. I have had so many set backs these last 2 years that I just didn't have any more strength to deal with more. I cried my self to sleep that night. "Gratitude Smatitude," I said. I took time out that weekend and  rested but, felt so discouraged. My foot was throbbing and my toes were bruised. I couldn't even get a shoe on. Luckily I found a pr of shoes that were a size larger and  painfully slipped my foot through. A few days later my son came by to change out my battery. He hooked up the battery to a charger and while he went to plug it in the charger fell on top of my water heater. Water started gushing out all over my garage. I couldn't even help my son as my walker was in back of the car and I was sitting behind the wheel. My son was trying to hold onto the broken pipe and stop the flow of water. I sat there beeping my horn and yelling for my husband to come and help. I then text a friend asking for prayer as chaos had developed. $100.00 later and a clean garage floor I was able to get my car out of the garage and my son took it to get a new battery. Later that night I pulled out my gratitude journal. I started laughing as I wrote my words of appreciation down. "I am thankful I was able to get up off the floor after I fell", "I am grateful that my foot is not broken and is healing.", "I am glad my son was ok and no one got hurt, also that I had the money to pay the plumber and get a new battery." "Oh, and I now have a cleaner garage floor." As the days went by I started to be thankful for the little things that I always took for granted. "Thank you, God, for a good cup of coffee." , " I am thankful for a beautiful home to be sheltered in from the storm blowing outside." , "Thank you for air conditioning.", "I am thankful Lord, for a husband that makes me breakfast on his days off", "Thank you God for friends who love and care about me." I went to the movies with friends the other day and had to use a wheelchair as walking is becoming harder especially with a broken toe. Just as I arrived at the theater it started to drizzle. Thankfully,  my friends were already there and quickly got the wheelchair out and ran me into the theater. Just as we entered the ticket booth the heavens opened and it rained hard. Later that night I was so thankful to get into the theater dry and safe. I was also grateful for my friends and a good laugh. There's a proverb that says "If you look for good you will find God's favor, if you look for evil you will find God's curse" (Prov 11:27 TLB). Blessings verses cursings. It has become a habit for me to think of all that is wrong. It takes self control and training to look for the blessing.  I can always find the good in things if I look hard enough. Galatians 5:22-23 shares about the fruit given to us by the Holy Spirit. If I am showing ; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control then I am living in God's favor. But if I am living with complaints, criticisms, hatred, jealousy ect (Gal 5:19-21) then I am living under God's curse. Scary isn't it? I tell you my human nature is to complain. I am working hard on finding thankfulness and gratitude in my everyday life. I have also noticed that as I focus more on  the blessing I am  laughing more and not taking everything so seriously. I have a long way to go in this area. As the 12 step program's state, "Awareness is the first step to recovery." I want my thankfulness to be such a part of me that it will eventually come naturally. I thank God for all who read this. May the Lord shower you with favor today as you take the time out to give Him thanks. I think I'll step out of the complaint's line and start standing on the gratitude line. Will you join me?

AN OUNCE OF COURAGE TAKES A LEAP OF FAITH

   His brilliant splendor fills the earth and sky; his glory fills the heavens, and the earth is full of his praise! (Habakkuk 3:3)

 "AN OUNCE OF COURAGE TAKES A LEAP OF FAITH"

These words were spoken to me in a dream last night. I have been struggling and searching for months for answers on my physical weakness. I have cried out to God, whined to my bible study group, and searched, memorized and prayed over scripture for answers. I exercise everyday, in the pool and on land. I have researched the Internet and visited orthodists in search of finding a brace that would enable me to walk. I don't have any answers nor am I any closer to finding one. I have become so weary. I have reasoned with God with words like; "If this is as good as it is going to get, then show me Lord. You spoke with Paul telling him your grace was all he needed how your power works best in his weakness. (2 Cor 12:8-10). So talk to me Lord. Tell me am I going to get stronger? If so, let me start working on acceptance. I have been grieving far to long now.  Answer me when I call to you O Lord, (Psalm 4:1)." And  here I am with silence. I am tired of exercising, and I am frustrated in helplessly watching my muscles fatigue. I am depressed when I see how easy it is for others to walk. I even have a sister, with the same type of disability who is 18 months older than I, and she is able to walk and carry things without the use of any device. Just trying to get myself a cup of coffee takes energy. Walking is getting harder even with the use of a walker. I persevere and press on, believing I am going to get stronger. At my bible study group, we spoke about discernment and the Serenity Prayer. { God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom (discernment) to know the difference.} I fell asleep last night crying out to God with this prayer on my mind. Sometime in the night I had the dream, a voice was saying "tell her"...and another voice spoke the words "An ounce of courage takes a leap of faith." I woke up saying Ok God what are you trying to tell me. (Sometimes the answer is so clear but in my simple mind I still don't get it.)
I believe what I am deciphering is that it only takes a little bit of courage to have a stronger faith. A decision to think of bravely walking through the storm or defeating to the circumstance and say "I can't do it anymore" and just give up. To put one foot in front of the other (literally) and walk. The other thought I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me was that I don't have to have answers. Trust in Him is all I need. Remember Job, he lost his children, home, wealth and his health. He was considered an upright man of God, yet God allowed Satan to torment him. Job questioned God and God replied, " Do you still want to argue with the Almighty? Or will you yield? Do you - God's critic- have the answers? " Job replied, "I am nothing - how could I ever find the answers? I lay my hand upon my mouth in silence. I have said to much already." (Job 40:2-4). One thing that I believe may have brought Job comfort is if his friends just said to him, "Job, I don't know why all this has happened to you. I don't have any answers to give you. But, I am here for you. I will sit by you and cry with you, hold you up when you feel like your falling apart and pray with you." Instead the story goes on to say that Job's friend tried to make sense of it all and believing Job had brought all this disaster upon himself. I would love for someone to say, "Ellen, I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't know why life is so hard for you at this time. I don't have the answer but I am here for you to cry with, pray with and just be silent. Know you are not alone in this journey." For someone to admit they don't have the answer is courageous. For the person on the receiving end it is a leap of faith to move on. I always remembered the statement, "People don't care how much you know but they want to know how much you care". At this time in my life I don't need to be hit over the head with bible verses, I need others to reach out and compassionately commit to validating my feelings. Call me, e-mail me or write to me and tell me I'm thinking about you. Visit with me, hold my hand and let us pray for each other. Life has become so busy that we truly have lost the art of human intimacy. So I encourage you to be courageous today and reach out to someone in need and let them know you care. If you are going through a difficult time let me encourage you with these words, "The Lord is my  [your] strength, and he will give me [you] the speed [leap] of a deer and bring me [you] safely over the mountains [ our troubles]" (Habakkuk 3:19).We will get through this...just know I care. You can e-mail me at ellene55@embarqmail.com if you have any prayer requests or just need someone  to chat with. Together we can pray and praise Him, together we will give Him the glory. God is merciful and gracious, His love is unfailing and unconditional.
Note: All scripture is taken from Life Application Bible

FAMILY GATHERING

Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. (Phil 2:3)

What a wonderful time was had at our home this past weekend as we gathered together for some family time. So much food, fun and laughter. I was so happy to see everyone having a good time. I sat back and took pictures. Later on that night a sense of melancholy came over me. I wished I was able to be a part of this fun instead of being on the outside looking through a camera lens. A statement a friend had made many years ago surfaced, "It's time to come out of the sidelines and participate in life". I wish I could have. With my physical weakness there is no way I could of participated in the fun that was had. In fact if I was in the pool I would of been in the way of the water gun fights and noodle wrestling. I am not saying that I need to abstain from the pool and fun all the time, but this day I felt the need to sacrifice and watch. It truly is a test of maturity when you can rise above self pity and be happy for others. Paraphrasing, Philippians 2:3, in humility (ugh, so hard to do), think of others as more important then my own wants. I actually enjoyed watching my family have a good time. As I layed in bed I waved those thoughts of despair away. I smiled as I thought of the laughter and comments like, "I haven't laughed so hard in a long time".
Yes, "A cheerful heart is good  medicine," (Prov 17:22), even if it's someone else's cheer. The caution is the other part of the verse, "But a broken spirit saps a persons strength". I could have allowed the despair to seep in and steal my joy and strength. I could have whined and complained to everyone there how unfair it was that I was not a part of the fun. Thank God I was able to sit back and enjoy life through other's eyes. There will be a season, once again, when I will be in the midst of the fun. Either way the key to a joyful life is being content in all circumstances, (Phil 4:12). Thank you Lord for this beautiful day which you have given me. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

SUPPORT THROUGH PRAYER

Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he's in trouble. Ecclesiastics 4:9-10

We need each other. As believers it is so important to find support and friendship through other Christians. I tried to request friendship with other Christians on a CMT website. I was surprised of the negativity that was answered. People were actually offended that I categorized the word "Christian" commenting on my desire to segregate from the rest. I was encouraged to share my prayer requests as an open forum so others can see it as well. Matthew 18:19," Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven." For me I believe the meaning in this verse is to find others who share the same God, the one and only true God that can only be found through His son Jesus Christ. In order to believe this one must be a Christian. There is power when two or more are filled with the Holy Spirit and praying and encouraging one another. Not that God doesn't hear the prayers of a pre-Christian, He is much bigger than that. I certainly do not want to put God in a box or start categorizing Him. However, I share from experience the power that is unleashed when the purity of the spirit of Christ in another is in agreement with the spirit of Christ in me. So in saying all this, I ask my fellow Christians to be in agreement with me in prayer for my body. I started a supplement that was used as a clinical study in helping CMT patients. It is not marketed yet, and the pills I have are not the pure form used. But, it is the only supplement available to the public at this time. Today is day 3 of taking the supplement. I also need prayer of wisdom in searching for a leg brace that may help me walk better. However, the cost can range from $5,000 - $8,000. My insurance may pay 80%, which means I have to come out of pocket for the rest. Unfortunately if it does not work I can't return them as they are custom made. I have an appointment to try one on Thursday, May 23rd. Please if you are reading this lift me and my sister up in prayer. Be in agreement with me of healing, hope and strength. However way God chooses, I want to receive all that He has in store.I will keep you posted of the results.....thanks

WORSHIP

PSALM 98: 7-8 " Let the sea in all its vastness roar with praise! Let the earth and all those living on it shout, 'Glory to the Lord.' Let the waves clap their hands in glee, and the hills sing out the songs of joy before the Lord..."
Worship is more than a song, it is praising our Lord in every circumstance. When I read the Psalm above I was reminded of my time sitting by the beauty of the gulf. Have you ever heard the thunder of the waves as it crashed onto shore? Or the sounds of the birds as they look for food in the water? Even the majesty of dolphins swimming and playing in the water is a form of worship. I love to hear the sounds of God's creation.
Just this morning ,as I sat outside reading my Bible, I was in awe of the sounds around me. Birds chirping, (quite loudly), like they were shouting praises to our Lord. Frogs croaking, the sound of trees swaying against the wind and in the distance a dog barking. What was even more amazing was the sounds of human technology were non existence. No traffic was heard and even the air conditioners in the surrounding homes shut off. It was just me and the Lord. What a special time I had with Him this morning. I joined in with my fellow creatures in praising our Lord. I kept thinking of this Psalm and joined in with the earth. This was my church today.
Since falling and hurting my back in January I am still having a difficult time getting around. I am blessed to have found a home church on Tuesday nights where my good friends, Jerry and Sally Sprague, host, teach and lead us in worship. This week our topic is on worship and the question we will be discussing is "How do you praise God when you don't understand what's happening in your life?' Oh how hard it is, for me. I want so much to be healed. To walk with out the use of a walker. To be more functioning where I can go places and be more independent. But for today that is not the case. So as I celebrated church, this fine Mothers Day, with just God, myself and His creation I became so caught up in worship the tears just trickled down my face. Our God is good! He is awesome! King throughout the earth. I may not understand what He is doing, but I am filled with so much of His Holy Spirit that at times like these it doesn't matter. I encourage you to take time out today and just shout "Glory to the Lord". Join in with the rest of His creation singing songs of joy before the Lord. Have a blessed day!

John 14:27 "I leave you with a gift, peace of mind and heart. This peace is not like the peace the world gives, so do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid."
I was doing pool exercises for about 2 weeks now,  but the temp in the pool is only 74% and my body has been aching. Don't know if it's the exercise or water temp. So I am abstaining for a while from the pool at least until the the water temp heats up a bit. Being in SW Florida it really shouldn't take that long. I was disappointed yesterday as my back felt so weak and I was having a hard time functioning.  But I am determined to do everything I  can  to get some strength back, and then leave the rest to God.
   I keep having these recurring dreams where I am able to walk with out the use of a walker. In my dreams I am aware that I have a walker but I either leave it in the car and walk to my destination with out it or like, in last nights dream, I left the walker on the side in my living room and walked without it commenting to my husband, "Look, I'm walking without the walker". I always wake up from those dreams in a state of hope believing that perhaps the Lord is showing me this is only temporary. Either way i am so grateful that the Lord has given me a peace throughout this situation.
I am trying to pursue a vitamin supplement that has shown positive results in some CMT patients. It's very costly and only in the 2nd trial stage ( I believe there are 3 stages in a trial study before it shows positive data to release the information as a type of treatment or cure) . There is no cure at this time for CMT, this supplement is not a cure but hoping to help in treating the condition..
I am asking for prayer for wisdom in this matter. I am also going to look into a different type of leg brace that other CMT patients are raving about.  Psalm 25:4-5 has been my daily prayer,  "Show me the path where I should go, O Lord: point out the right road for me to walk. Lead me; teach me; for you are God who gives me salvation. I have no hope except in you."
Appreciate your prayers...thanks Ellen

My dear friend and sister in Christ, Ines, suggested and started this blog for me. "What do I write", I ask her? She says, "Whats on your heart".  Another freind stated I write things to deep on FB so she also stated I should start a blog. So here I am, a little computer illiterate but willing to try again, (my first posting got lost somehow). A little about where I'm at in life. I was diagnosed with a neuro muscular disorder, CMT, at the age of 9. I have lived a very active life and I am happy. However 2 years ago I helplessly watched my CMT escalate where my muscles became weaker. I fell and fractured my ankle, which set me back and I had physical therapy to try and regain what I had before injury. Wound up doing more damage to my knee and had surgery, another set back. Had to use a walker after surgery and continue with physical therapy where I was starting to walk with a cane. Unfortunately I fell and hurt my back. I can't seem to get back to any form of normalcy for me. I need a walker now to get around and even that is hard for me. During this time of being still I have grown tremendously with my walk with the Lord. He and I communicate all day long. I know He is in charge.  I wouldn't have volunteered for things to be as they are, yet submitting to Him has brought peace and joy into an otherwise difficult situation. The title Courage to Believe, is my testimony. It is easy to become isolated, angry and fill myself with pity but it is such a misserable place to be. It takes COURAGE an acronym for Contentment, Overcoming, Understanding, Restoring, Accepting, Grace, and Embracing the challenges I face each day.
I would love to chat with others, to encourage one another, give hope, pray for one another and gently encourage the covering of scripture and God's promises. I would like to share a verse that means a lot to me. It is found in Psalm 40:3 "He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things He did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in Him". For me God has put a challenge with my physical limitations as a new way of life or I'd like to say a new song to sing...I can sing, "Oh Woe is Me", or I can sing praises to our God. My prayer is that if God heals me on this side of heaven then many will become believers. More importantly, however,  if He chooses not to heal me I pray  others will see how He has equipped me with joy in spite of my affliction then they will have the courage to believe as I do

Starting my blog today....

Today is the first day of this blog. May our Lord bless it