Taking Time To Serve

`Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.' Matt 25:40
During the time of my mom's illness I was a single mom raising my 10 year old son, Joel . Life was busy. There just seemed to be so much to do and not enough hours in the day to do it. Sound familiar anyone? That was a season I look back on now with a different perspective. I remember one day in particular that exemplifies this busy season of my life. I went to visit my mom, I had some time before I had to rush back and pick up my son from school. Upon arriving at moms she mentioned how she needed some bread and if I felt like going to the store to get some for her. I looked at my watch and figured I had time so I said sure. Then my mom says, “You know what, let me come with you”. Now I'm starting to panic. You see it takes mom time to walk and she has to carry her oxygen with her. But, what can I say, “No I have no time” so I said,” Lets get going then.” When we get to the store I find a motorized cart for mom and we walk down the aisles. She is pointing to items on the shelf and I put them in the cart, all along checking time on my watch. She sees me looking at my watch and says, "How much time do we have?” and I tell her, “Not much. Sorry mom, I didn't plan on this and I have to pick up Joel and take him to his church group.” So we quickly check out and I get mom settled in the house. Mom asked if I could drop something off to my sister who was on the way home. I rush to my sisters drop off her item and rush to pick up my son. At this point my son is now getting out of school and I'm at least 15 minutes away. I drive faster. The lights and siren distract my driving and I had to pull over. The officer was kind enough to not give me a speeding ticket but I got sited for not having a seat belt on. I forgot to put it back on after leaving my sisters store. Now I am really late as I pick up my son. We hurried with homework and dinner so we could get to his church group. That was one example of a day that if I had the power to do over again I would of done things so differently. I would have given my mom more time and wouldn't of rushed as much. My son was in good hands, the school wasn't going to leave him alone and it's not like I do this all the time.
Today I can relate to the loneliness my mom must have felt. The verse in Mathew states before hand in verses 35-36 “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.” What it doesn't say is “I was in the church counsel meeting and you served me, I was in in every church service and you came to visit me, I was at the weekend retreat and you honored me,I was in your schedule and you arrived on time.” Sometimes I got caught up in serving that I forgot who I was serving. God wants us to serve Him but not at the cost of turning our backs on the least of these.
Since I have been struggling in the last two years I have spent many lonely hours wishing someone would come and visit me, to pray with me and to invite me out to go shopping or someplace fun. Most times God answers my prayers and sends me a sister in Christ to serve me in this manner. For some, like myself, my prison has become my body. I have a hard time getting myself in and out of the car with my walker. I can't do simple things like reach up and get something off the top shelf of my closet. Vacuuming, weeding and other chores I used to do have become difficult and nearly impossible. But praise be to the Lord, who sends me a beautiful servant of His and helps me in areas of need. Yesterday was an example of Christian action, my home church group had a brunch at one of our members house. I wasn't going to go as thinking about the “what ifs” , in having a disability and worrying if I can manage, screamed in my ear. I learned in my support group how I have to take the risk with safe people. My brothers and sisters in Christ have proven of their safety net in loving and caring for me. I am spoiled with this family of believers. How they watch over me and look out for my best interest. I had such a lovely time and was sooooo glad I went.
When I look back on my family of faith I am in awe of those who cared for my needs. A good friend sends me little gifts, I have received financial blessings, and have had my house cleaned, another bought my walker, I have received numerous cards and prayers and so much love. I was hungry for fellowship and you came and visited me, I was thirsty for the word and you gently shared with me by being the love of Christ.
I understand the busyness of life, I wish I could of spent more time with my mom and not made her feel rushed. I understand now when I get to heaven God is not going to see all the ministries I did for my church and other Christian organizations and say “Well done good and faithful servant”, why you may ask? Because in serving in the capacity I served I already received my reward on earth. Matt 6:1-4 states, "Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give alms, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” I think God would have honored me more if I spent more time helping my sick mother then rushing my son off to his church group. It's ironic how we get lost in the serving and doing for “Jesus” that we can become blind in helping the least of these. Trying to get to church on time so we ignore someone stuck on the side of the road. Or not wanting to go out of our way to pick up someone to even bring to church. Working on a Saturday to help plan a weekend retreat is honorable but because of your publicly serving you have received your reward. But what if you took time out of your busy weekend to visit someone in your family or life who needs some love. Unfortunately serving family doesn't get us the appreciation we deserve, not here on earth anyway, but most certainly in heaven. Ephesians 6:5-7 reminds us to serve others as if we were serving the Lord. That means family too. So I encourage you to take your elderly aunt out to a movie, or pick up a single mom, friend or sister, and treat her to a gift just for her. Take your dad out to lunch and listen to his life story. Look for someone who is the least of these and find a way to serve him or her.
Be creative! Don't expect a reward of thanks, if you get one that is an extra bonus, but keep your eyes heavenward as that is where your reward comes from. Pray today and ask our Father who He would have you bless today. And to all those saints who have and continue to bless me during this season of my life...thank you, thank you, thank you. I am humbled by the out pouring of love. During the lonely days where I feel isolated and have my pity party’s I can feel safe to reach out to you as if I was reaching out to the Lord and know you will hug me and remind me of how much I am loved.

OLIVE BRANCH

I was doing my daily pool exercises when I thought it might be easier if I had a focal point. So my eyes scanned the outside of the screening and I came across a branch growing straight up to the heavens. It reminded me of an olive branch. My thoughts went to the story of Noah and he releasing the dove who eventually came back with what is described as an olive branch. I decided to do some research on olive branches and was delighted to find the meaning. Most of the research described an olive branch as a symbol of peace. Some described it as a sign of victory and hope.
When you think about the story found in Genesis 8, Noah had to release a dove a few times before he was confident that the time was coming when it would be safe to leave the ark. Genesis 8:10 states, "Seven days later Noah released the dove again, and this time, towards evening, the bird returned to him with an olive leaf in her beak."(TLB) What joy Noah must have felt. Reminds me of a Crocus plant emerging through the semi frozen ground symbolizing the end of a long winter and the beginning of spring. I was filled with hope when I saw a tiny green tree growing among the soot and ashes after the devastation of a fire. It always amazes me when a flower blooms in-between a crack in a sidewalk. All these descriptions inspire hope in me. Yet, in order for me to truly appreciate hope I first have to experience despair and suffering. Noah did. Think about the complete destruction of the human race except for Noah, his family and the animals he rescued and released. I can't even imagine the devastation of it all. Then an olive branch comes by way of a dove. A sign of life. The first sign of redemption outside the ark. No longer will God wipe out the Earth again. No longer does anyone ever have to live with despair. We are given a new life, a hope, a beginning and eternity through God's son Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:17 states "When someone becomes a Christian he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun!"(TLB) There will always be suffering and destruction as we live in a fallen world. But when we focus on the Lord we have an inner joy. We have hope and once again we can see life emerging through the ashes. We can have our very own olive branch through prayer, the Bible and in each other. The messenger (The Dove) is God the Father, Jesus Christ His son and the Holy Spirit.
This week is going to be a week of answered prayer. I will be looking for the olive branch, the symbol of hope, peace and victory through the outcome of those who I will be praying. Today and tomorrow (Tuesday), a dear friend who has been going through a time of suffering is at a clinic looking for treatment and help from her life of physical weakness. A man who I have been praying for is going in for surgery on Wednesday. A young boy who has endured extreme hardships through out his life is leaving on Thursday to a hospital out of state looking for release and healing, me and my sister are going to pick up new leg braces on Friday praying they will help alleviate pain and give me the ability to walk with out the fear of falling. I am excited to see how each of those mentioned will receive their olive branch, their own symbol of hope and new life. I will keep you posted.....

Gratitude List

I wheeled my way to my car using my walker for support, looking forward to having lunch with a friend.  My car wouldn't start. A dead battery. Oh great I thought, "Everything is always going wrong." I called my friend who came by and picked me up. On the ride to the restaurant I complained about how hard my life was. Unfortunately, my whining continued through the meal and beyond. My friend shared her tale of woes as well. Just then a thought came to me, I mentioned to her, "Don't you like it when your son thanks you for what you do for him? I know I always like it when my son appreciates what I do for him. I bet God likes it when I thank Him for all he does instead of me always whining." My friend gasped and said, "You are right. We need to start a gratitude journal and write down a list of things we are thankful for. Then every other week we will meet and share our list, this way we will keep each other accountable." "Great idea ", I responded.
That night as I was exercising both my knees gave out on me and I fell. I twisted my ankle and think I broke my big toe. I was crying out in pain and pleading with God to show favor on me. I have had so many set backs these last 2 years that I just didn't have any more strength to deal with more. I cried my self to sleep that night. "Gratitude Smatitude," I said. I took time out that weekend and  rested but, felt so discouraged. My foot was throbbing and my toes were bruised. I couldn't even get a shoe on. Luckily I found a pr of shoes that were a size larger and  painfully slipped my foot through. A few days later my son came by to change out my battery. He hooked up the battery to a charger and while he went to plug it in the charger fell on top of my water heater. Water started gushing out all over my garage. I couldn't even help my son as my walker was in back of the car and I was sitting behind the wheel. My son was trying to hold onto the broken pipe and stop the flow of water. I sat there beeping my horn and yelling for my husband to come and help. I then text a friend asking for prayer as chaos had developed. $100.00 later and a clean garage floor I was able to get my car out of the garage and my son took it to get a new battery. Later that night I pulled out my gratitude journal. I started laughing as I wrote my words of appreciation down. "I am thankful I was able to get up off the floor after I fell", "I am grateful that my foot is not broken and is healing.", "I am glad my son was ok and no one got hurt, also that I had the money to pay the plumber and get a new battery." "Oh, and I now have a cleaner garage floor." As the days went by I started to be thankful for the little things that I always took for granted. "Thank you, God, for a good cup of coffee." , " I am thankful for a beautiful home to be sheltered in from the storm blowing outside." , "Thank you for air conditioning.", "I am thankful Lord, for a husband that makes me breakfast on his days off", "Thank you God for friends who love and care about me." I went to the movies with friends the other day and had to use a wheelchair as walking is becoming harder especially with a broken toe. Just as I arrived at the theater it started to drizzle. Thankfully,  my friends were already there and quickly got the wheelchair out and ran me into the theater. Just as we entered the ticket booth the heavens opened and it rained hard. Later that night I was so thankful to get into the theater dry and safe. I was also grateful for my friends and a good laugh. There's a proverb that says "If you look for good you will find God's favor, if you look for evil you will find God's curse" (Prov 11:27 TLB). Blessings verses cursings. It has become a habit for me to think of all that is wrong. It takes self control and training to look for the blessing.  I can always find the good in things if I look hard enough. Galatians 5:22-23 shares about the fruit given to us by the Holy Spirit. If I am showing ; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control then I am living in God's favor. But if I am living with complaints, criticisms, hatred, jealousy ect (Gal 5:19-21) then I am living under God's curse. Scary isn't it? I tell you my human nature is to complain. I am working hard on finding thankfulness and gratitude in my everyday life. I have also noticed that as I focus more on  the blessing I am  laughing more and not taking everything so seriously. I have a long way to go in this area. As the 12 step program's state, "Awareness is the first step to recovery." I want my thankfulness to be such a part of me that it will eventually come naturally. I thank God for all who read this. May the Lord shower you with favor today as you take the time out to give Him thanks. I think I'll step out of the complaint's line and start standing on the gratitude line. Will you join me?

AN OUNCE OF COURAGE TAKES A LEAP OF FAITH

   His brilliant splendor fills the earth and sky; his glory fills the heavens, and the earth is full of his praise! (Habakkuk 3:3)

 "AN OUNCE OF COURAGE TAKES A LEAP OF FAITH"

These words were spoken to me in a dream last night. I have been struggling and searching for months for answers on my physical weakness. I have cried out to God, whined to my bible study group, and searched, memorized and prayed over scripture for answers. I exercise everyday, in the pool and on land. I have researched the Internet and visited orthodists in search of finding a brace that would enable me to walk. I don't have any answers nor am I any closer to finding one. I have become so weary. I have reasoned with God with words like; "If this is as good as it is going to get, then show me Lord. You spoke with Paul telling him your grace was all he needed how your power works best in his weakness. (2 Cor 12:8-10). So talk to me Lord. Tell me am I going to get stronger? If so, let me start working on acceptance. I have been grieving far to long now.  Answer me when I call to you O Lord, (Psalm 4:1)." And  here I am with silence. I am tired of exercising, and I am frustrated in helplessly watching my muscles fatigue. I am depressed when I see how easy it is for others to walk. I even have a sister, with the same type of disability who is 18 months older than I, and she is able to walk and carry things without the use of any device. Just trying to get myself a cup of coffee takes energy. Walking is getting harder even with the use of a walker. I persevere and press on, believing I am going to get stronger. At my bible study group, we spoke about discernment and the Serenity Prayer. { God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom (discernment) to know the difference.} I fell asleep last night crying out to God with this prayer on my mind. Sometime in the night I had the dream, a voice was saying "tell her"...and another voice spoke the words "An ounce of courage takes a leap of faith." I woke up saying Ok God what are you trying to tell me. (Sometimes the answer is so clear but in my simple mind I still don't get it.)
I believe what I am deciphering is that it only takes a little bit of courage to have a stronger faith. A decision to think of bravely walking through the storm or defeating to the circumstance and say "I can't do it anymore" and just give up. To put one foot in front of the other (literally) and walk. The other thought I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me was that I don't have to have answers. Trust in Him is all I need. Remember Job, he lost his children, home, wealth and his health. He was considered an upright man of God, yet God allowed Satan to torment him. Job questioned God and God replied, " Do you still want to argue with the Almighty? Or will you yield? Do you - God's critic- have the answers? " Job replied, "I am nothing - how could I ever find the answers? I lay my hand upon my mouth in silence. I have said to much already." (Job 40:2-4). One thing that I believe may have brought Job comfort is if his friends just said to him, "Job, I don't know why all this has happened to you. I don't have any answers to give you. But, I am here for you. I will sit by you and cry with you, hold you up when you feel like your falling apart and pray with you." Instead the story goes on to say that Job's friend tried to make sense of it all and believing Job had brought all this disaster upon himself. I would love for someone to say, "Ellen, I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't know why life is so hard for you at this time. I don't have the answer but I am here for you to cry with, pray with and just be silent. Know you are not alone in this journey." For someone to admit they don't have the answer is courageous. For the person on the receiving end it is a leap of faith to move on. I always remembered the statement, "People don't care how much you know but they want to know how much you care". At this time in my life I don't need to be hit over the head with bible verses, I need others to reach out and compassionately commit to validating my feelings. Call me, e-mail me or write to me and tell me I'm thinking about you. Visit with me, hold my hand and let us pray for each other. Life has become so busy that we truly have lost the art of human intimacy. So I encourage you to be courageous today and reach out to someone in need and let them know you care. If you are going through a difficult time let me encourage you with these words, "The Lord is my  [your] strength, and he will give me [you] the speed [leap] of a deer and bring me [you] safely over the mountains [ our troubles]" (Habakkuk 3:19).We will get through this...just know I care. You can e-mail me at ellene55@embarqmail.com if you have any prayer requests or just need someone  to chat with. Together we can pray and praise Him, together we will give Him the glory. God is merciful and gracious, His love is unfailing and unconditional.
Note: All scripture is taken from Life Application Bible

FAMILY GATHERING

Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. (Phil 2:3)

What a wonderful time was had at our home this past weekend as we gathered together for some family time. So much food, fun and laughter. I was so happy to see everyone having a good time. I sat back and took pictures. Later on that night a sense of melancholy came over me. I wished I was able to be a part of this fun instead of being on the outside looking through a camera lens. A statement a friend had made many years ago surfaced, "It's time to come out of the sidelines and participate in life". I wish I could have. With my physical weakness there is no way I could of participated in the fun that was had. In fact if I was in the pool I would of been in the way of the water gun fights and noodle wrestling. I am not saying that I need to abstain from the pool and fun all the time, but this day I felt the need to sacrifice and watch. It truly is a test of maturity when you can rise above self pity and be happy for others. Paraphrasing, Philippians 2:3, in humility (ugh, so hard to do), think of others as more important then my own wants. I actually enjoyed watching my family have a good time. As I layed in bed I waved those thoughts of despair away. I smiled as I thought of the laughter and comments like, "I haven't laughed so hard in a long time".
Yes, "A cheerful heart is good  medicine," (Prov 17:22), even if it's someone else's cheer. The caution is the other part of the verse, "But a broken spirit saps a persons strength". I could have allowed the despair to seep in and steal my joy and strength. I could have whined and complained to everyone there how unfair it was that I was not a part of the fun. Thank God I was able to sit back and enjoy life through other's eyes. There will be a season, once again, when I will be in the midst of the fun. Either way the key to a joyful life is being content in all circumstances, (Phil 4:12). Thank you Lord for this beautiful day which you have given me. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

SUPPORT THROUGH PRAYER

Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he's in trouble. Ecclesiastics 4:9-10

We need each other. As believers it is so important to find support and friendship through other Christians. I tried to request friendship with other Christians on a CMT website. I was surprised of the negativity that was answered. People were actually offended that I categorized the word "Christian" commenting on my desire to segregate from the rest. I was encouraged to share my prayer requests as an open forum so others can see it as well. Matthew 18:19," Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven." For me I believe the meaning in this verse is to find others who share the same God, the one and only true God that can only be found through His son Jesus Christ. In order to believe this one must be a Christian. There is power when two or more are filled with the Holy Spirit and praying and encouraging one another. Not that God doesn't hear the prayers of a pre-Christian, He is much bigger than that. I certainly do not want to put God in a box or start categorizing Him. However, I share from experience the power that is unleashed when the purity of the spirit of Christ in another is in agreement with the spirit of Christ in me. So in saying all this, I ask my fellow Christians to be in agreement with me in prayer for my body. I started a supplement that was used as a clinical study in helping CMT patients. It is not marketed yet, and the pills I have are not the pure form used. But, it is the only supplement available to the public at this time. Today is day 3 of taking the supplement. I also need prayer of wisdom in searching for a leg brace that may help me walk better. However, the cost can range from $5,000 - $8,000. My insurance may pay 80%, which means I have to come out of pocket for the rest. Unfortunately if it does not work I can't return them as they are custom made. I have an appointment to try one on Thursday, May 23rd. Please if you are reading this lift me and my sister up in prayer. Be in agreement with me of healing, hope and strength. However way God chooses, I want to receive all that He has in store.I will keep you posted of the results.....thanks

WORSHIP

PSALM 98: 7-8 " Let the sea in all its vastness roar with praise! Let the earth and all those living on it shout, 'Glory to the Lord.' Let the waves clap their hands in glee, and the hills sing out the songs of joy before the Lord..."
Worship is more than a song, it is praising our Lord in every circumstance. When I read the Psalm above I was reminded of my time sitting by the beauty of the gulf. Have you ever heard the thunder of the waves as it crashed onto shore? Or the sounds of the birds as they look for food in the water? Even the majesty of dolphins swimming and playing in the water is a form of worship. I love to hear the sounds of God's creation.
Just this morning ,as I sat outside reading my Bible, I was in awe of the sounds around me. Birds chirping, (quite loudly), like they were shouting praises to our Lord. Frogs croaking, the sound of trees swaying against the wind and in the distance a dog barking. What was even more amazing was the sounds of human technology were non existence. No traffic was heard and even the air conditioners in the surrounding homes shut off. It was just me and the Lord. What a special time I had with Him this morning. I joined in with my fellow creatures in praising our Lord. I kept thinking of this Psalm and joined in with the earth. This was my church today.
Since falling and hurting my back in January I am still having a difficult time getting around. I am blessed to have found a home church on Tuesday nights where my good friends, Jerry and Sally Sprague, host, teach and lead us in worship. This week our topic is on worship and the question we will be discussing is "How do you praise God when you don't understand what's happening in your life?' Oh how hard it is, for me. I want so much to be healed. To walk with out the use of a walker. To be more functioning where I can go places and be more independent. But for today that is not the case. So as I celebrated church, this fine Mothers Day, with just God, myself and His creation I became so caught up in worship the tears just trickled down my face. Our God is good! He is awesome! King throughout the earth. I may not understand what He is doing, but I am filled with so much of His Holy Spirit that at times like these it doesn't matter. I encourage you to take time out today and just shout "Glory to the Lord". Join in with the rest of His creation singing songs of joy before the Lord. Have a blessed day!