Psalm 40:1-3

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me. He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me up out of the pit of despair out of the muck and the mire and set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”

I went canoeing, a few years back, at a local state park in South West Florida . I was with two other people when our canoe tipped over. The others were able to wade through the water and onto the shore. I proceeded to follow the others. However, with my leg braces on covered by pants, a vacuum of water got in between my legs and braces. It caused my feet to sink into the mud beneath the surface. I couldn't lift my feet. The water was waste deep but my feet were sinking. I cried out for help. While waiting for someone to come get me, I looked up to read a sign saying swimming was prohibited due to alligators in water. “Oh great if I don't drown I'll  get eaten by alligators”, I thought. Finally two men jumped out of their canoes and one by one they lifted my feet out of the mud and I was carried onto dry land.

Today I find myself stuck once again. This time emotionally. I don't know what my purpose in life is. I take a few steps in a direction I would like to pursue only to find myself stuck and sinking. I mentioned previously in my blogs the importance of support. My husband is going through his own stress and so we do not do many things together. Just this past weekend a few family members got together for a fun event and I was excluded as they knew physically it would be difficult for me. My son and his family are a blessing and they never make me feel like a burden. However, with their work and school,  I might see them once a week. I have asked friends to meet for coffee and we have to set it up like months in advance as their lives are so busy. I meet two times a week for fellowship at bible studies and do enjoy my time there. But other than a few a hours a week I spend most of my time home, alone. I have now reached out to a total stranger and will be exploring a prayer ministry in hopes of finding some sense of purpose in my life. I am reminded of my experience of sinking into the mud and asking for help. Remember that sign of alligators being present? Unfortunately, as we try and explore ways to get out of the pit of despair, the enemy will look for ways to stop us. But God always wins. I am learning to reach out to positive people who will support me. I'm excited to see where my life is going once I get my feet back on solid ground. I will keep you posted.

“But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit” Jeremiah 17:7-8

Several years back ,my mother had a young palm tree growing wild in her yard. I was a single mom at the time and my yard consisted of weeds and a few shrubs. I asked my mom if I could have the tree. Upon her approval I dug it up and planted the palm in my front yard. I watered it immediately. I was so excited to have this tree grow into a majestic beauty. Every night I went outside dousing it with water. That worked well for a few months but after awhile it didn't look like it was growing. A friend from church, a landscaper by trade, came by to help with a repair. I asked him about the palm tree and how much I should water it, he told me they didn't require a lot of water. He continued, “The more you water the weaker it becomes. When the tree is dry the roots grow down into the natural spring beneath the earth looking for water. If you continuously water it the roots will stay near the top. When the roots grow deep it makes the tree stronger and it weathers the storms.” A few months later a friend was going to throw out a sprouted palm growing wild out of a coconut. I took that home too and planted it near the first palm. I made sure I didn't over water.
What I love about the above verse in Jeremiah and the palm tree experience is how God works in ways we do not understand. Like a tree's roots growing under the earth, we cannot see what God is doing. Eventually, we might see the results or the fruit of His plan. For the past three years my ministry in bearing fruit seemed to be over. I had one injury after another and felt the ravages of the storms of life. I would sit outside and watch the squirrels play and the lizards leap. At out Bible study group we were challenged to spread the word of God. To be disciples of Christ. I mentioned to my fellow Christians, how the only witness I get to give is to the squirrels and lizards. Although we had a laugh it really was disturbing. On the way home I said, “OK Lord, what do you want from me. Let me produce fruit for your glory”.
Shortly after I was on an internet chat room with other CMTers. Someone quoted a few bible verses and caused a stir in the secular group. The scripture verses were deleted from the page and the bible quoter resigned from the group. It really disturbed me. I contacted the administrator of the page and explained how someone posting “What type of shoe helps you” to “What bible verse gives you hope” should be one and the same. After all are we not doing this to help encourage one another?” After a few conversations, and her helpful advise, shortly after Easter weekend of 2014 our CMT Fellowship page was born. We are now over 75 members and it is a great place to share our experience, hopes, prayers, inspirations and Bible verses. I than continued to spread the word of hope through this blog. Just this last month for the first time in 50 years I shared my story and faith in having CMT.

I didn't see all God was doing to prepare the way. I felt at times barren and forsaken. However, I didn't give up and just kept pushing deeper. I allowed my roots to grow deep into my faith and found the spring of living water. That palm tree that grew out of a coconut, well it grew into a majestic beauty and gave off numerous coconuts. Both trees continue to grow through the droughts, heat and storms. I too am growing stronger in my faith during this difficult time in m life. I know more fruit will be produced as long as I remain in our Lord. (Romans 15:5).

Healing From The Hand Of Friendship

After sharing about my experience with how my whining has caused uncertainty with others I want to share of the ones who have stood by me in this battle. There's a story in Exodus about the Israelites fighting to conquer the land God promised them. As long as Moses held up his arms the Israelite were winning. As soon as He let his arms down they were pounded on by the enemy. So Moses brother, Aaron, and his friend, Hur, got a rock for Moses to sit on and then on each side of Moses they stood and held his arms up. (Exodus 17:12). The battle was won and they went into the land to conquer it. Like I stated previously God is all about relationships. He could of given victory to the Iraealites without Aaron, Hur or Moses. God chose to make a point in that we need each other in order to conquer the battle.  We need to put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:13) and  pray for each other without stopping (18). I love that, for some, praying for me has become an action, not just words. To all my friends who have treated me to lunch, coffee, parks, and visits, your time was as healing to me as Aaron and Hur were to Moses. To be accepted, the good, the bad and the ugly is a gift.

Life is busy for many. In today's economy just about everyone has to work. Those who don't are usually busy caring for children, grandchildren or family members. Today's mom's and dad's  feel exhausted in taxiing their loved ones to sporting events, doctor's, dentists ect. Those who retire are now active in ministries at church. We live in a needy society. I don't like adding to that need. If I had a choice I would rather give 100% than be on the receiving end. It has been humbling and lonely. Yet when one of my friends anoint me with their hand of friendship I am so elated. A few weeks back a busy friend called and invited me to dinner. She had a free evening and we went for pizza. What a fun time. We laughed, complained and prayed. It was soothing lotion on a chapped heart. Other friends invited me for coffee, another joyful experience. For me they are being Jesus with skin on.

Don't mistake someone being married as not being lonely. When I was a single mom many friends from church were there in my times of need. I believe the deceit we tell ourselves is that she has a husband or her children live near by. Let the Holy Spirit speak into your heart.  There have been times when our fridge has been empty and I would receive a “word” from someone who believed God wanted them to tell me something. I already know what God's word says.  I am forever grateful to the great group of friends who have given  food, money and treated me to adventures.  In my mind they are the true disciples of Christ. You guys who are my Aaron and Hur have been my encourager to write. Your validation has prompted me to share my story in hopes of teaching what it is like to be one of His chosen ones in need.

With the love and support of family and friends many hurting people overcame their hardships and shined brightly for our Lord. God does not expect us to go through our battles alone. He created us  for fellowship.  “How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down on the collar of his robe. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore. Psalm 133:1-3” Simply put it is an anointing.

Thanks to those who gave through my story, we have collected $200.00 to go towards a cure for CMT. Because of your generosity the path may not be as long before a cure can be found. If anyone gave and I have not contacted you by Private Message would you contact me at, ellene55@embarqmail.com     and allow me to send you a thank you. I do appreciate everyone's comments, prayers and support. My son,  Joel will give a tally of what was raised through the shark tournament. Hugs You can still give if you feel led to at http://www.cmtausa.org/url/sharkchallenge or to the MDA http://www2.mda.org/goto/CMTChallenge