His brilliant splendor fills the earth and sky; his glory fills the heavens, and the earth is full of his praise! (Habakkuk 3:3)
"AN OUNCE OF COURAGE TAKES A LEAP OF FAITH"
These words were spoken to me in a dream last night. I have been struggling and searching for months for answers on my physical weakness. I have cried out to God, whined to my bible study group, and searched, memorized and prayed over scripture for answers. I exercise everyday, in the pool and on land. I have researched the Internet and visited orthodists in search of finding a brace that would enable me to walk. I don't have any answers nor am I any closer to finding one. I have become so weary. I have reasoned with God with words like; "If this is as good as it is going to get, then show me Lord. You spoke with Paul telling him your grace was all he needed how your power works best in his weakness. (2 Cor 12:8-10). So talk to me Lord. Tell me am I going to get stronger? If so, let me start working on acceptance. I have been grieving far to long now. Answer me when I call to you O Lord, (Psalm 4:1)." And here I am with silence. I am tired of exercising, and I am frustrated in helplessly watching my muscles fatigue. I am depressed when I see how easy it is for others to walk. I even have a sister, with the same type of disability who is 18 months older than I, and she is able to walk and carry things without the use of any device. Just trying to get myself a cup of coffee takes energy. Walking is getting harder even with the use of a walker. I persevere and press on, believing I am going to get stronger. At my bible study group, we spoke about discernment and the Serenity Prayer. { God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom (discernment) to know the difference.} I fell asleep last night crying out to God with this prayer on my mind. Sometime in the night I had the dream, a voice was saying "tell her"...and another voice spoke the words "An ounce of courage takes a leap of faith." I woke up saying Ok God what are you trying to tell me. (Sometimes the answer is so clear but in my simple mind I still don't get it.)I believe what I am deciphering is that it only takes a little bit of courage to have a stronger faith. A decision to think of bravely walking through the storm or defeating to the circumstance and say "I can't do it anymore" and just give up. To put one foot in front of the other (literally) and walk. The other thought I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me was that I don't have to have answers. Trust in Him is all I need. Remember Job, he lost his children, home, wealth and his health. He was considered an upright man of God, yet God allowed Satan to torment him. Job questioned God and God replied, " Do you still want to argue with the Almighty? Or will you yield? Do you - God's critic- have the answers? " Job replied, "I am nothing - how could I ever find the answers? I lay my hand upon my mouth in silence. I have said to much already." (Job 40:2-4). One thing that I believe may have brought Job comfort is if his friends just said to him, "Job, I don't know why all this has happened to you. I don't have any answers to give you. But, I am here for you. I will sit by you and cry with you, hold you up when you feel like your falling apart and pray with you." Instead the story goes on to say that Job's friend tried to make sense of it all and believing Job had brought all this disaster upon himself. I would love for someone to say, "Ellen, I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't know why life is so hard for you at this time. I don't have the answer but I am here for you to cry with, pray with and just be silent. Know you are not alone in this journey." For someone to admit they don't have the answer is courageous. For the person on the receiving end it is a leap of faith to move on. I always remembered the statement, "People don't care how much you know but they want to know how much you care". At this time in my life I don't need to be hit over the head with bible verses, I need others to reach out and compassionately commit to validating my feelings. Call me, e-mail me or write to me and tell me I'm thinking about you. Visit with me, hold my hand and let us pray for each other. Life has become so busy that we truly have lost the art of human intimacy. So I encourage you to be courageous today and reach out to someone in need and let them know you care. If you are going through a difficult time let me encourage you with these words, "The Lord is my [your] strength, and he will give me [you] the speed [leap] of a deer and bring me [you] safely over the mountains [ our troubles]" (Habakkuk 3:19).We will get through this...just know I care. You can e-mail me at ellene55@embarqmail.com if you have any prayer requests or just need someone to chat with. Together we can pray and praise Him, together we will give Him the glory. God is merciful and gracious, His love is unfailing and unconditional.
Note: All scripture is taken from Life Application Bible
